THE HORIZONTAL PART OF THE MAP?!

Haiku deadline: Tuesday, February 7th at 11:59 PM

“I CAN’T GET OVER HOW ANGRY THIS MAKES ME!”

The King thrashed about his fortress violently, flipping tables, smashing valuables, and throwing guards out windows, often into the ocean.  His rage seemed infinite, and the guards were getting increasingly worried about what might happen to the tables and valuables if his behavior persisted.

In the dead of the night, the guards of King Daggerbeard’s fortress gathered up and decided that the only thing that could possibly quell the King’s rage was a haiku.  Haikus were one of the King’s favorite things, and the guards had used this tactic before with great results in much less severe bouts of anger.  Unfortunately, they weren’t paid to be creative, and between all of them across all of the islands, they couldn’t think of a new haiku to tell the King!  Using their global communication link, which you still find rather strange and unusual, the guards put out a message to all of the explorers across all of the islands.  The message was simple:

“The King is upset, and we’re counting on you to come up with a haiku to calm him down.  Trust us, it’s the only way.  Whoever comes up with the best haiku to calm down the King will receive a rewards from us, the guards.”

I finished the update for today BUT I’m putting it on hold until Wednesday morning because I need to finish the map.  For those wondering, the map isn’t just a drawing – or it’d be done by now – but is instead a little interactive tool that tracks the progress of the game over time.  The map is both an important part of how I’m visually going to be showing off Everything Islands to others, and an important tool to you as the players because it tracks information while providing a visualization.  The problem is that the map needs to be updated every time I update the game, and every update I have about enough time to go back and finish last week’s map, without really getting much of a chance to finish up the current week’s map.  I have most of the maps, except last week’s, pretty much up to date, but by taking this time to catch up on maps, I’ll be able to provide what I think is a really helpful resource going forward.

That being said, I didn’t want to do nothing for this update.  You heard the guards, we gotta cheer up the king!

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30 thoughts on “THE HORIZONTAL PART OF THE MAP?!

  1. Nirkit employed his [b][psychic][/b] powers to discern what subject the King would find most pleasing, and quickly sent the following haiku:

    We’re so dumb for real
    Can’t climb in your windows
    To snatch treasure up

    • Way to not doublecheck your work after switching it to a meme theme, Nirk.

      We’re so dumb for real
      Ain’t climbing in your windows
      To snatch treasure up

  2. NO VERTICAL PARTQUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARKQUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARKQUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARKQUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONMARK
    STRIPES MUST FACE THE FURY OF
    A BEARD OF DAGGERS

  3. Just as Mike Burns was about to begin his day, he received word from a guard about the Haiku request from the King. Upset at being delayed on his activities for the day, he replied to the guard:

    “What the hell is this?!
    I should be grabbing some ass
    Give my money back!”

    After calming down, he realized that he must keep good graces with the King and tried to think up a Haiku that would cheer him up. He thought to himself:

    “What is a Haiku?
    How do you even write one?
    I have no idea”

    Losing hope, and patience, Mike Burns decided he was not fit to write a Haiku to the King. Instead, he wrote a short, heartfelt letter:

    “Dear King, please cheer up
    I am not good at Haikus
    How about a hug?”

  4. My religion prevents me from participating with Haikus, so I have to do a limerick.

    There once was a King of an Isle,
    Whose jimmies all were a-rile,
    The Storm was a-brewin,
    The Guards were in ruin,
    But then the King calmed down for a while~

  5. USING SELFS KNOWLEDGE DATABASE ON HAIKUS SELF COMES UP WITH THE FOLLOWINGCOLON

    SOME SMOOTH SEASONS SLIDE
    LATE THUNDERSHOWERS DWINDLE
    BARRACUDA FREEZES

  6. Having completed my exhausting swim, just in the nick of time by the looks of the weather, I lie on the beach of my newly arrived-at island. Out of seemingly nowhere, a guard appears and asks me to come up with a haiku to soothe the King.

    “Well, I may be physically drained”, I tell the guard, “but I’ll see what I can do..”

    After pondering for a few moments, I decide on a result.

    “Guard…tell your King this…”

    “A ruler, a King
    No treasure do they not have;
    Assassins target”

    With that, I return to relaxing and catching my breath.

  7. King Beard of Daggers,
    Please feel better soon, else bad haiku,
    They may never stop.

  8. PANDAS MOTHS AND SLOTHS
    ALL NOT SO GOOD AT LIVING
    WAY TOO GOOD AT :3

    :3 IS DEFINITELY ONE SYLLABLEEXCLAMATIONMARK

  9. TOO LATE FOR AN ENTRY BUTCOLON

    SHOULDERS UP AND DOWN
    KNIGHT STRIPES VIBRATES RAPIDLY
    MUST BE A SEIZURE

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