Day 13: Keepers of Elysium

Team Members:

Captain Destin
A random guard

While Nirkit worked on the [effectiveness] of juggling lewd thought with pointing the ship in a meaningful direction, all while not falling in love with Destin.  It wasn’t easy, and the trip north wasn’t quite as smooth as anyone would’ve liked.  It was kind of like watching a slow-motion skipping stone, as every once in a while the ship would plummet back into the ocean, thrash for a bit, settle down, and the get lifted once more.  Destin’s push-ups were [luck]y in the sense that he didn’t break every bone in his body every time the ship landed.  In fact, he was so lucky that he timed his push-ups in some ridiculous manner where he didn’t even ever notice the turbulence.

Once they arrived at the island, Nirkit decided to land the ship on top of the very tiny pillar.  By land, I mean that he pulled out all the extra-nasty stuff in the dirtiest recesses of his mind while mixing those thoughts with “DONTYOUDROPTHISSHIPNIRKITYOUWILLKILLEVERYONE” to create an overwhelming sense of fear that was required for their lives to also be erotic.  Sure that Nirkit wouldn’t let him down, literally, Destin decided to step out onto the island, which had to be no more than twenty or so feet around.  The middle of the pillar had a shack on it, and upon landing, an old man flung the door open and waddled outward.

“Greetings, Dustin!” the old man said, “I knew you arrive now.  Well, not now persay, as I came out here expecting you yesterday, but I knew you were coming, now isn’t that impressive?”

He nodded a lot, and Destin watched as politely as possible while not staring at this strange old man, who couldn’t have been more than three feet tall and whose eyes seemed permanently shut.  At least, Destin throught, he has a sweet guru mustache and beard combo.

“Nancy there will have no problem keeping that ship afloat,” the old man assured Destin, “but you on the other hand… Dustin, let me tell you who I am, and then ask you an important question.  I have been around for thousands of hours, practicing all forms of fighting-based nonsense.  I’ve beaten people to death with my hands, with weapons, with animals, heck – even with nonsense, whatever that means!  What I wish is to pass this knowledge down to someone who is worthy, so I ask you Dustin, one simple question that I want you to think long and hard about.

What is your purpose?”


2 thoughts on “Day 13: Keepers of Elysium

  1. Nirkit looked around the top of the giant pillar. He’d intended to sail here on the water and then levitate himself up afterward, but this was even better! THEY HAD A FLYING FORTRESS! Now if he could only fly the ship without masturbating, that would be something. His arm was had been cramping up so much he was beginning to worry he’d get a lopsided strength bonus, and his abs were starting to hurt from the blueballs.

    Luckily, the ship being on top of the pillar meant that Destin got to answer the Riddle Of The Sphinx Disguised As An Old Man Living On Top Of A Pillar, and Nirkit could use Mewtwo-level psychic awesomeness to their advantage. He scanned the old man’s mind looking for the answer that would be most advantageous to the Keepers, along with any potential future questions, ie: anything about favorite colors or swallows, and maybe the man’s undoubtedly heartbreaking backstory that led him to float his house UP here with a bunch of balloons.

    Upon finding the answer Nirkit will relay that information to Destin, maybe even forcing him to say the correct answer if he is about to say something wrong.

  2. Du- er, Destin, should have had shock and awe plastered on his face. Instead, he was taking recent events in as if it were just another day. But he took in the old man’s question thoughtfully. Sitting down, he looked to the sky for several hours while trying to form an answer.

    After the day was nearly done, he answered.

    “A lot of things came to mind. An old place dear to me used to have the motto “Help the helpless.” Another idea I had, with a friend even older than that ancient place, was to restore what was lost.”

    “But when I begin to say that as my answer, it always feels like I’m about to share in an illusion. I wanted to “Help the helpless,” and I wanted to revive the broken things. Yet through those I was always trying to get to a deeper end.”

    “It may be that this is another illusion, but at least it seems right in saying it. I want everyone, even my enemies, to be infinitely joyful. And I want to bring about that joy, even if it takes the cruelest violence.”

    Destin’s blue eyes sank paler, as if trying to chase the sky. It was a long time since he told anyone exactly what he meant.

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